so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
