Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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