You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
