White coat. Heels.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
