i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Randomize
