I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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