Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
