Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
