really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
