We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
