So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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