I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
