His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
this boner is exhausting
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
