and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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