You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
As shirtless as possible
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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