He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
