Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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