A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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