How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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