redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
