There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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