you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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