When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
