the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
