Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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