wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
