I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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