I've blown a few things in my day
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
