What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
