Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
