Define "chronic" masturbator.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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