My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
