have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
