oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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