Dual....:-)
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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