somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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