i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
