she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
