How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
