My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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