You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
high people should be assigned attendants
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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