I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
