I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
