A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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