So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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