i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Randomize
