Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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