Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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