Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
How external is "for external use only"?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
