Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
