New low: just hacked my moms facebook
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
